What it means to resolve unhelpful conflicts

Not all disagreements are bad. Healthy disagreements allow people to share different ideas, challenge each other’s thinking, and make better decisions. However, some conflicts or arguments can be unhelpful and cause problems.

Unhelpful conflicts often:

• Become personal: Instead of focusing on ideas, people attack each other.
• Create bad feelings: People feel upset, stressed, or angry instead of working towards a solution.
• Go in circles: The same points are repeated without progress.
• Distract from the real goal: Instead of solving a problem, the focus shifts to winning the argument.
• Damage relationships: People stop trusting or wanting to work with each other.

In contrast, a healthy disagreement allows people to listen, learn from each other, and find better solutions together.

Conflicts are a normal part of working with others, but how they are handled makes a big difference. Resolving conflicts in a collaborative way means working together to find a fair and positive solution.

Why and when to work collaboratively to resolve unhelpful conflicts 

Resolving unhelpful conflicts in a collaborative way is particularly important when:

• The conflict affects a team goal: It keeps everyone focused on solving the problem rather than arguing.
• When different opinions need to be considered: A collaborative approach ensures everyone has a voice.
• When emotions are high: Working together calmly helps reduce stress and frustration.
• When relationships matter: Resolving conflicts fairly helps people continue to work well together.

If unhelpful conflicts can be resolved in a collaborative way, then it:

• Encourages fairness: Everyone gets a chance to be heard and understood.
• Strengthens teamwork: People build trust when they solve problems together.
• Leads to better solutions: Different ideas and perspectives create stronger results.
• Prevents future conflicts: Handling disagreements well reduces misunderstandings in the future.

However, there may be times when a collaborative approach to resolving a conflict is not possible. If someone refuses to listen or act fairly, other steps may be needed to solve the issue.

How to work collaboratively to resolve unhelpful conflicts 

To resolve conflicts in a positive way, it is important to stay calm, listen, and focus on solutions. Steps to resolving conflicts collaboratively include:

1. Stay calm and respectful: Avoid raising your voice or reacting with anger.
2. Listen to understand: Let everyone explain their point of view without interruption.
3. Find common ground: Look for areas where you agree to build trust.
4. Focus on solutions, not blame: Instead of saying “You caused this problem,” try “How can we fix this together?”
5. Keep emotions in check: If the discussion becomes too heated, take a break and return when calmer.
6. Be willing to compromise: Sometimes, a fair solution means meeting in the middle.
7. Agree on a way forward: Make sure everyone understands what will happen next.

By resolving conflicts in a positive and fair way, teams can stay strong and work better together.